Israel 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

IdyotAko 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

O...

K...

Then...

>.>

I can't believe you pulled the freakin lyrics of this damn... damn... this ain't a song, dammit!

Israel 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

I thought it was a song?

fuse 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

Lol, I've heard the "Drink Beer" version of this song. I knew it was based on the suncreen one. The song starts out the same but replace sunscreen with beer.

... I'll depense this advice now.
You're as fat as you imagine,
you really look like your driver license picture - do something about it.
No one wants to date a fat pig.
If inserting a 17 inch ice tea spoon down your throught to induce vomitted is what it takes - then so be it.
Do one thing everyday that makes your mother ashamed.
Waward pieces of parsilley and beef inbetwen your teeth actually don't look that bad.

Read GQ magazine and strive to look like the man on the cover.
Undergo breast augmentation, lyposuction, and penis enlargement.
Make fun of old people it's fun!

And remember your friends will stab you in the back for the price of an extra value meal, and remember flame broiled isn't always better!

... Nevermind but trust me on the beer.
(and sadly I haven't heard the song in years, yet I can remember almost every piece of advice the song gives... ^.o)

Israel 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

Theres this song too that seems to be so funny...I hope you guys know the tune of this song

Amish Paradise
by Al Yankovic

Lyrics:

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies all I agree I look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitave as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really rightous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise

Yuck

The.....when i heard this song on the radio.Ive kinda think of this song again byCoolio>They have the same tune!!!

Coolio
Gangsta's Paradise

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life and realize there's not much left
coz I've been blastin and laughin so long, that
even my mama thinks that my mind is gone
but I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it
me be treated like a punk you know that's unheard of
you better watch how you're talking, and where you're walking
or you and your homies might be lined in chalk
I really hate to trip but i gotta, loc
As I Grow I see myself in the pistol smoke, fool
I'm the kinda G the little homies wanna be like
on my knees in the night, saying prayers in the streetlight


been spending most their lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
been spending most their lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
keep spending most our lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
keep spending most our lives, living in the gangsta's paradise


They got the situation, they got me facin'
I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the stripes
so I gotta be down with the hood team
too much television watching got me chasing dreams
I'm an educated fool with money on my mind
got my 10 in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I'm a loc'd out gangsta set trippin' banger
and my homies is down so don't arouse my anger, fool
death ain't nothing but a heartbeat away,
I'm living life, do or die, what can I say
I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24
the way things are going I don't know

Chorus:

Tell me why are we, so blind to see
That the one's we hurt, are you and me
been spending most their lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
been spending most their lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
spending most our lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
spending most our lives, living in the gangsta's paradise

Power and the money, money and the power
minute after minute, hour after hour
everybody's running, but half of them ain't looking
what's going on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's kickin'
they say I gotta learn, but nobody's here to teach me
if they can't undersstand it, how can they reach me
I guess they can't, I guess they won't
I guess they front, that's why I know my life is out of luck, fool


been spending most their lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
been spending most their lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
spending most our lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
spending most our lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
Tell me why are we, so blind to see
That the one's we hurt, are you and me
Tell me why are we, so blind to see
That the one's we hurt, are you and me

(fade out)

fuse 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

haha, yah.. I've only heard the Weird Al version of Gangster's paradise. You're filipino right Israel? I'm suprised you guys know as much English as you do.

IdyotAko 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

Uhh Fuse... I am Filipino too, y'know...

/ok

Grew up there 20 years before I came to the US... /ok

fuse 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

Pssh... you made it sound so long ago...

Israel 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

haha not to brag but me and IA can race up with you guys! ;P
*do not underestimate the power of a tru Filipino*
*1st ROHQ then the world!*

IdyotAko 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

That... deserves a LOL!!!

Israel 6 years 3 months ago wrote:

not just a LOL but a big hand!!!!

Nightmare Zero 6 years 2 months ago wrote:

...Wow, I'm going to be the only one who gets this joke...

>>;

fuse 6 years 2 months ago wrote:

Mind explaining? I'm lost with it. At first I thought I understood it, but now I'm just confused again.

Israel 6 years 2 months ago wrote:

Yay.. Im not the only one!

mikealhussy 2 years 4 months ago wrote:

Hello friends, Thanks for share it, It's more valuable information.